For anyone who is not part of a Christian cult (or high-control Christian sect), the answer to the question of whether or not someone in a cult should leave may seem obvious – if you don’t think their teaching is sound, simply leave.
However, for those trapped inside Christian high-control groups, it’s not quite that simple – there are many things to consider, including:
- losing family members if they remain inside the sect
- loss of employment if you work for a member of the church community
- fear of negative consequences – high-control Christian groups normally brainwash their members into thinking that leaving the group will result in eternal damnation in hell, as well as many negative outcomes in this life – and even if they now have doubts about this, they may still worry “but what if it’s true”
- if the group had right beginnings before it became somewhat cult-like, there may be many true Christians still within the church community, in spite of the wrong doctrines of it’s leaders in more recent decades, and you may wonder if it’s still the best Christian fellowship to belong to, even though it’s not perfect
- you may feel that the leader of your church is right, even if your local fellow cult members are not (cults normally have ‘charismatic leaders’ that are very skilled at appearing to be right, and often use their position of power to delegate their dirty work to people lower down the church hierarchy, allowing them to retain popularity and blame others when things go wrong)
This article aims to help you navigate the various considerations, and arrive at a peaceful conclusion about where God means you to be, in spite of the agonising conflict you will no-doubt endure when your beliefs and values pull you in one direction, while the cult uses family, fear, friends, and finances, to pull you in the other direction.
There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question, and you will have to go through a lot of prayerful exercise to arrive at the right answer for your own personal circumstances.
If you do decide to leave your church, much further prayer will be needed in order to determine when and how you should leave.
If you find the pressure of trying to navigate all of this alone too great, you can reach out to me in confidence via our contact page, sometimes it helps to talk to someone, anonymously if you need to, or in person if you prefer.
Barriers to leaving a cultish Christian church
1) They claim to be the only true position, and warn against the dangers of looking outside the group.
Virtually every cult will warn strongly against listening to any voices outside of the cult. But with 1000s of other Christian cults out there, all claiming they’re the only right one, what’s the chances that yours happens to be the right one!
Therefore it’s important to do your research properly. Alongside your inevitable thoughts “what if the cult’s warnings are right“, weigh up “what if the cult’s warnings are wrong, and are stopping me discovering the true way to salvation; the way that’s been revealed by God in the Holy Bible”.
This Wikipedia article clearly outlines 12 of the many 100s of Christian denominations taking this viewpoint of being the ‘One True Church’, including the Mormons, Catholics, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Baptists, Lutheran Church, Amish, Mennonites, Seventh Day Adventists, and more.
Example:
The Catholics believe that they’re the only ones in touch with the true line that’s come down from the apostles, and that the Pope is God’s representative on earth, and that anyone opposing that viewpoint is therefore evil and apostate. On this official vatican.va website article, they claim that “The Catholic Church is alone in keeping the true worship. This is the fount of truth, this the house of Faith, this the temple of God: if any man enter not here, or if any man go forth from it, he is a stranger to the hope of life and salvation“. This is one of many such claims they make, many more can be found in this article and elsewhere.
2) You may lose your family if you leave them
Many cult-like religions shun members when they leave, examples include Scientology, Peoples Temple, Branch Davidians, Moonies, Exclusive Brethren (now PBCC), Amish, some Mennonites (but not all), Jehovah’s Witnesses, and Gloriavale.
Examples:
- Amish: Shunning is a core practice for many Amish communities, often following excommunication for violating religious rules. Many Amish communities shun those who leave the group, but some don’t as long as they join a like-minded Christian group.
- Jehovah’s Witnesses: They also practice shunning, not only for those excommunicated but also for those who leave voluntarily, including close relatives, according to Time Magazine.
- Gloriavale: While shunning has become officially optional in recent years, in an apparent attempt to avoid harsh criticism from the secular outside world, shunning still takes place, splitting up families, and can be extremely traumatic for adult leavers, let alone children.
3) You may lose your job if you leave them
Many cult-like religions provide employment for their members, and may even mandate that their members must only be employed within the Christian community they belong to, however, this makes it all the more difficult to leave the community if you are unhappy with it’s teachings.
Examples:
- Gloriavale – this Christian community strives to emulate the early disciples of Jesus in the book of Acts, by sharing all of their wealth. This means that people leaving Gloriavale not only lose their jobs, they don’t have any money to take with them, to help them set up a new life outside of the community.
- PBCC (Plymouth Brethren Christian Church) – members of the PBCC all work for brethren businesses, and are generally paid very high wages, often double what they would get paid at an equivalent job outside the community. This means that to leave, they have to leave their job as well, and may struggle to find another job.
So what should you do – leave or stay?
And if so, then when should you leave, and how? The short answer is “it depends”, and you will need to ask this question prayerfully before God in order to arrive at full assurance about what is the correct course for you personally. You may need to make a move in faith, relying on God to take care of you during what will be a very challenging and sometimes painful yet rewarding transition. Or you may need to pray fervently for many years before you know the time is right. Or you may discover that God’s mission is for you to help people inside your Christian cult, in a way that only someone already inside the cult can do.
Here in this article, I break down the key consideration factors when considering all of the questions around leaving a religious cult. This article is specifically written to help people currently in a Christian groups that they’re not happy to be in. For anyone in a non-Christian cult, the answer is typically much more clear cut – getting out would normally be the right thing to do according to the bible, and is how the one true God and Father of our Lord Jesus would lead you. However, God works in mysterious ways through all kinds of people in all kinds of situations, and wherever you are, you still need to walk prayerfully and dependently before God, in order to do what’s right before Him – the exact timing, how you go about it, are still things you can pray for help about.
While God’s plan for your life is ultimately what you need to ascertain when considering leaving a Christian Cult, you absolutely can speak to right-minded Christian friends about it – just make sure you speak to a variety of people, and not just those within your current church, to get a balanced view. Check on the internet too – while most cult-like churches warn against the dangers of what’s on the internet, that’s often simply because they don’t want your eyes to be opened – there are many examples of people from all religions and religious sects getting converted to believe on Jesus after reading information on the internet, not everything on there is bad, it’s simply a powerful tool that is being used by both good people and bad people.
in the multitude of counsellers there is safety – Proverbs 11:14 KJV
You will normally want to avoid speaking to anyone within your cult about your dilemma, as cults tend to have very strong self-preservation mechanisms that prevent open, honest, and helpful discussions about leaving. It is quite likely that your cult-like church encourages you to be open and honest with follow members about your concerns, and may even claim that to do anything else shows you have a bad conscience and proves how wrong your position is – but actually, that’s a sign that it’s quite likely a cult-like church, if they have created an atmosphere where people feel religiously pressured to tell the very people they have doubts about that they have doubts, at which point they are very vulnerable to being re-indoctrinated just at the point when they were about to get free. And beware of the trap of telling your husband or wife or parent or someone you trust within the church community, if there is this kind of reporting system in place – your trusted person will have been indoctrinated to immediately tell a senior church member about your concerns, and then all kinds of pressure and brainwashing may be brought down on you at that point. Hard as it is, it is probably best to keep quiet and only tell Jesus – that whole prayerful exercise will help to bring you closer to God, as you wrestle to separate true bible-based conscience from church-brainwashing-induced guilt. Strive to keep yourself connected with what you believe are true sources of encouragement and true light from outside of the community, even if you have to endure regular brainwashing from the church in your current position – God is more powerful than man, and can maintain you in your faith if you keep connected to his Holy Word, keep praying. As humans, we are very weak, much weaker than men that are energised by “spiritual forces of evil“, so it is likely you will fail at some point, we all do, but keep praying and God can deliver you, and set you on your feet again even when you do fail – His love and mercy and grace is limitless!
But he who endures to the end shall be saved – Matthew 24:13 NKJV
Isn’t Christianity a Cult Anyhow?
Some people today argue that Christianity itself, even in its early beginnings back in Jesus’ day, or maybe especially in its early beginnings, meets many if not all the modern definitions of a ‘cult’.
However, there is one massive difference between following Jesus and following a religious cult leader – Jesus is God: “our great God and Saviour, Jesus Christ” – this means that we can trust him implicitly at all times: “For the scripture saith, Whosoever believeth on him shall not be ashamed“.
This is in contrast to men’s organisations – many of which start out with the best of intentions, but at some point or other, their leaders fail in some way, which is OK if they admit their error, but if their followers regard them as divinely led and worthy of blind trust, that’s when the bad stuff starts to happen.
Also, Jesus didn’t seek to control his followers in the way that man-made cults do – instead he served his disciples, and showed them the right way to go by example, and suffered so that they didn’t need to – these are all exact opposites of what you’ll observe in any man-made cults today where the charismatic leader protects their own interests ruthlessly, and ensures that they benefit personally, while those around them suffer. The leaders of modern christian cults may try to project an image of suffering and service, so that they seem more Christ like, but at the same time, they amass great wealth, and pursue their opponents ruthlessly with private detectives, top lawyers, and expensive court cases. Another feature of charismatic cult leaders is that they often indulge in pleasures that they don’t permit their followers to, sometimes claiming special entitlement to do so, or at other times doing it secretly. In contrast, Jesus could say “I am the way, the truth, and the life“, and as John says “grace and truth came by Jesus Christ“.
So no, true Christianity is not a cult, even if some may point to evidence suggesting it might be.
The secular world may even make claim it is a death cult, because followers of Jesus give up their sinful lives and follow Him faithfully, even if that leads to persecution and sometimes death. However, everyone dies at the time God appoints for them, and believers in Jesus then pass into eternal life, and those following their sinful desires without repenting and turning to Jesus for salvation are the ones that don’t find eternal life, so in bible terms, atheism and secularism are more like death cults than true Christianity is! However, this kind of extreme and emotional language rarely helps to promote helpful and constructive dialogue, so is normally best avoided – a better approach is outlined in Galatians 6:1 “if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently” (NIV).
Conclusion
You are safe following Jesus.
You are not safe blindly following every single instruction from a man-made organisation who claims to be your quickest, best, safest, or maybe even only way of finding Jesus. Those kind of charismatic leaders are coming between you and Jesus, and are taking a place that should belong to Jesus alone, as the sole head of his Church here on earth.
If an organisation leads you to find Jesus in a deep personal way, and doesn’t claim you have to belong to their organisation in order to have that relationship fully, then they are likely OK. But if they do not, be on your guard:
But beware of men: for they will deliver you up to the councils, and they will scourge you in their synagogues – Matthew 10:17 KJV
Further resource
The video below could prove helpful and encouraging to anyone considering leaving a cult-like church, and all the associated pain and loss of family, friends, employment, etc, that may bring. Here pastor Mark Driscoll goes over Jacob’s separation with his toxic father-in-law Laban, and draws many powerful parallels with anyone’s attempted separation from toxic people today.
